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Showing posts with label Brad Paisley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brad Paisley. Show all posts

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday-Brad Paisley

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.

How 'bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched?

Why am I getting blipped again?
Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I can't say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.

I'll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me?

Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You can't say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didn't make the rules.
Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
You've got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that won't offend anybody.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay

Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

I'm just trying to come up with a song here.
Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
I'm ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.

We three kings of Asia are

That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How 'bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you can't say drummer 'cause that will offend real musicians.

How 'bout little town of meddle hell.
What's this with all the short jokes?

Hey how 'bout we do Silent Night?
No, it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
Shark?

This happens every year.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say,
If you're easily offended well that's okay,
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Hohoho!
No.
I can't say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we can't sing anything?

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George it's more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder man it's more effective.
I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.

We can't say new, it'll offend the old folks.
And you never wanna offend them.




Silver Bells brad paisley

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air
There's a feeling of Christmas
Children laughing
People passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on every street corner you'll hear

Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring
Soon it will be Christmas day

Strings of streetlights
Even stop lights
Blink a bright red and green
As the shoppers rush home
With their treasures
Hear the snow crunch
See the kids bunch
This is Santa's big scene
And above all the bustle
You'll hear

[Repeat Chorus]

Silver bells, silver bells
Soon it will be Christmas day
Soon it will be Christmas day

Born On Christmas Day-Brad Paisley

Silent Night-Brad Paisley

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

364 Days To Go-Brad Paisley

Wrapping paper everywhere
Stacked up dishes, but who cares
They can wait until tomorrow now
It's you and me, and this old couch

The Christmas tree in our living room
Fills the room with pine perfume
And colored lights dancing on the walls
While Nat King Cole sings "Deck The Halls"

Don't you get the sense tonight
That for now the world is right
And as another Christmas ends
My mind drifts and once again
I'm thinking like a six year old
Only 364 days to go

Max got his bike
I swear, that kid
He's got it parked right by his bed
Jenny sure loves her puppy too
I'm not sure just who walked who

Thanks for my robe, no that's ok
It looks better on you anyway
What is it about this time of year
That makes our troubles disappear

'Cause don't you get the sense tonight
That for now the world is right
And as another Christmas ends
My mind drifts and once again
I'm thinking like a six year old
Only 364 days to go

We can't avoid it
No way around it
Before too long we'll be
Either back to work back to school
Or just back to reality

Don't you get the sense tonight
That for now the world is right
And as another Christmas ends
My mind drifts and once again
I'm thinking like a six year old
Only 364 days to go

Be here before you know it

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Penguin, James Penguin-Brad Paisley

Well the reindeer pull the sleigh
And the elves make the toys
Those are the stories that are well known to all
Little girls and boys

But I've got another story
That I bet you haven't heard
Did you know that Santa
Has a secret agent bird

He's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy

Have you ever wondered
How Santa keeps tabs
How he knows when you've been good
How he knows when you've been bad

He's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy

From an undisclosed location
He's watching me and you
He's got satellite uplinks in his cufflinks
Yeah he sees everything you do

He's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy

Not so very long ago
Santa didn't need much help
But with more and more kids every year
He soon got overwhelmed
He told the elves one Christmas
We can't do this anymore
Then a knight in shining polyester
Waddled through his door

And it was Penguin, James Penguin
He was there to save the day
He had wireless
And GPS outfitted on the sleigh

And Santa said Penguin
Won't you be my ears and eyes
How'd you like to help me run
My SCFBI

He's Penguin, James Penguin
And now I guess you've heard
How Santa got his little Christmas
Secret Agent Bird

I'll Be Home For Christmas-Brad Paisley

I am dreamin' tonight of a place I love
Even more than I usually do
And although I know it's a long road back
I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
If only in my dreams

Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy-Brad Paisley

[Chorus]
Well, Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him
It's not the way I had him pictured
Santa was much too thin
He didn't come down the chimney
So mama must have let him in
Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him

Well, they thought I was fast a sleepin'
They thought that I was tucked in bed
They never thought I'd come a peepin'
Or that I'd hear what was said

Santa put his arm around mama
And mama put her arm around him
So if Santa Claus ain't daddy
Then I'm a gonna tell on him

[Repeat Chorus]

I never saw Dancer or Prancer
I never heard the sleigh bells ring
I never saw the red nosed reindeer
Like they show on the TV screen
But he sure brought a lot presents
So Santa Claus he must have been
Well, he sure looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him.

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

Santa looked a lot like daddy
Or daddy looked a lot like him

Winter Wonderland-Brad Paisley

Sleigh bells ring
Are you listening
In the lane
Snow is glistening
It's a beautiful sight
We're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland

Gone away is the bluebird
And here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song
As we go along
Walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say are you married
We'll say no man
But you can do the job
When you're in town

[Chorus]
Later on
We'll conspire
As we dream by the fire
We'll face unafraid
The plans that we've made
Walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Jim Ed Brown
We'll sing "Pop A Top" with Mr. Snowman
When chapel bells are ringing all around

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

Yeah we'll face unafraid
That plans that we've made
Walking in a winter wonderland